While writing yesterday’s Now I Know, I discovered today’s story — and with the World Cup still ongoing (despite the eliminations of the host nations), I figured I’d share it today. Tomorrow’s won’t be a soccer story, promise! — Dan
Witch Way to Victory?
Sports has a way of bringing people together. Even in fractured political climates, friendly competition between and behalf of nations can create moments of joy like none other. For example, a few weeks ago, Norway’s parliament paused business for a moment to perform the Viking rowing chant that has become the hallmark of the nation during this year’s World Cup. A few wins on the soccer pitch solves problems that few other things can.
Which is why some teams go to great lengths to be part of the event — and why it’s important to pay the bill if you do.
The beginning of the story is perhaps more myth than true — some people who were there swear it happened, others suggest not so much. In November 1969, Australia’s national team — often called the “Socceroos” — travelled to Mozambique to play against Rhodesia — now Zimbabwe — in a best-of-two qualifier for the 1970 World Cup in Mexico. As ABC Australia explains, “Australians were hot favorites and the matches were expected to be a mere formality, but both games were draws.” Desperate and confused, the Socceroos, on the advice of local journalists, allegedly hired a nyunga — a witch doctor. The nyunga buried some bones near one of the goal posts and cursed the Rhodesian team, and the Australians won their match, 1-0. To make it to the World Cup tournament, the Socceroos simply needed to win another best-of-two match against Israel, which no one expected to be much of an issue. But when Israel upset the Australians, fans started to wonder if something went wrong.
It turned out, something had gone wrong. Per legend, when the nyunga asked for payment for his services, the Socceroos refused, stiffing him for $1,000. So the nyunga cast a second curse, this one targeting Australia.
Whether one believes in curses or not (and to be clear, I’m in the “or not” camp, but fun coincidences are still fun), things continued south for Australian soccer thereafter. The Socceroos managed to qualify for the 1974 World Cup but did not score a single goal across three matches. And from that point until 2006 — a gap of seven contests over 32 years — they failed to qualify at all. By the 1990s, the curse of the Mozambique witch doctor became a running joke around Australian soccer fandom.
So in 2004, an Australian humorist named John Safran decided to do something about it. During one episode of his tongue-in-cheek documentary TV series, “John Safran vs God,” he travelled to Mozambique and hired a pair of nyungas named Paulino and Miriam. ABC Australia continues:
On the very football pitch where Australia defeated Rhodesia in 1969, Paulino channeled the spirit of the long-dead nyunga who had placed the original curse and performed a ritual to lift the hex, which included covering Safran in chicken's blood.
When Safran returned to Australia, he and Warren went to Sydney's Olympic stadium and performed the second part of the ritual, which involved covering themselves in a special clay the nyunga had given them.
The curse was now gone — and two years later, Australia qualified for the World Cup in Germany, and even advanced to the knockout round.
But Australians weren’t quite convinced. The team qualified for the tournament again in 2010, then hosted by South Africa. But one of their top players, Harry Kewell, was suffering with a groin injury. Fans began to wonder if this was the curse coming back — so Kevin Rudd, the nation’s prime minister (and a nice guy, I spoke with him 1-on-1 a few years ago) consulted South African healer Bishop Isaac Nonyane, per the Guardian. Nonyane stated that Kewell wasn’t cursed, but the groin injury was “because of malicious spirits, and the main intention of those malicious spirits is to hurt him.” He suggested that Rudd, in his official capacity as Prime Minister, offer Kewell a get-well wish, which would fix the problem.” So Rudd did exactly that.
Australia’s soccer team, however, failed to advance past group play in that World Cup, inched out by Ghana for the second slot out of Group D. The curse, some believed, still lingered.
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More About Australia
Today’s Bonus fact: If you hear someone in Australia calling someone else “Bluey,” it’s not a reference to the cartoon dog. Chances are, it’s because of the other person’s hair color — but not blue. It’s a name used for redheads. It’s part of a (hardly uniquely) Australian tradition of referring to people by the opposite of their physical traits. The nickname is so pervasive that, when Virgin Australia airlines launched in 2000, it did so formally as “Virgin Blue” because the company’s planes were red.
From the Archives: The Great Emu War: Emus won.
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And thanks! — Dan